


The Things Inside

by Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-30
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 12:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams/pseuds/Take_Me_To_My_Fragile_Dreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because the monster is him and he is the monster.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Human

_._

_…I've felt the hate rise up in me…_

_._

There's this thing (or should he say monster?) inside of him, snarling and clawing at his insides. It seems to grow stronger and stronger every time he's around _them_ (the pretenders) and now he isn't sure that he can contain it anymore. He doesn't really know why their simple questions annoy him so much, why all he wants to do is scream and run and _rage_ every time they so much as _look_ at him. He knows that it wasn't always like this, can recall times when he's actually _enjoyed_ their company; but now it's hard to imagine doing such things.

It's rather hard to enjoy and converse with something that you just want to go away, isn't it?

_._

_…I wander out where you can't see…_

_._

They just can't seem to understand him, can't wrap their petty little heads around the being (creature) that is him. They don't know how much control it takes not to let the thing (monster) take control and push them all forever away. And god help him, he wants to let it take control, wants to tear them apart with his words as they've done to him so many times before; but another part of him (the human part) won't allow it. It knows that he cared about them once before and knows that even though they're nothing more than nuisances now, they did mean _something_ once.

He wonders what they'd do if they knew how fragile their existence in his life is.

_._

_…Inside my shell I wait and bleed…_

_._

He can hardly stand the sight of them anymore. They (the pretenders) think that he's just becoming antisocial, that he has problems, that he's messed up, that he needs _help_. And while that may be true, the only true problems he has is them.

_._

_…Get outta my head cause I don't need this…_

_._

He doesn't know when their lectures began to fall on deaf ears, doesn't know when he stopped caring, all that he knows is that it is increasingly hard not to laugh when they go on their angry tirades. Do they think that he _cares_? That he gives a damn what they think about him and his actions? That he'll change himself to make them happy?

…The sad part is that he did once.

(He can hear the thing (monster) snarling at this; _pathetic_.)

_._

_…You haven't learned a thing, I haven't changed a thing…_

_._

They're so ignorant, so _trusting_. It sickens him. He doesn't care about their stupid tales, doesn't care about what's wrong with her, or who he fucked last night. He just doesn't _care_. He never has. He pretends that he does, in order to fit in, to be 'human'… But he doesn't really know what that is.

Humans are cruel selfish creatures, and so are monsters at times, but when it comes down to it… Who is truly the worst species?

_._

_…The pain was always free…_

_._

There's this thing (monster) inside of him, and it's getting stronger everyday. It wants to rip and tear them (the pretenders) apart. It stalks around inside of him, snarling and clawing at the walls of its prison, which are growing weaker and weaker with each echoing sound and harsh swipe. One day it will get free, one day it will succeed in carrying it's rage out and one day they'll finally know just _what_ the cost of their words and actions are. One day it will… And he won't stop it. No, he'll _relish_ in it. (Because it (the monster) is him, and that's what monsters do.)

_._

_…I've felt the hate rise up in me…_

_._


	2. The Monster

 

_._

_…I will remember before I forget…._

_._

He (the monster) really isn't that cruel. He still loves, he still feels emotion other than hate and rage. He's just more… selective in the people he gives his affection too. Unlike his owner (master) he only gives his love to those who earn and deserve it. He doesn't like it when they (the pretenders) are given mercy when they've never given his owner (master) the same kindness. So yes, he fights against his cage (prison) in order to rip and tear; and yes, he snarls and howls in vengeance for the scars that litter the walls around him, but he thinks that they (monster and master) deserve it; revenge that is.

_._

_…My end, it justifies my means…_

_._

Sometimes he wishes that his owner (master) would let him out. He doesn't understand why his owner (master) is so afraid of showing his true emotions. He (the monster) wants to shower his loved ones with love and protection, to keep them safe from anything and anyone that may hurt them. He wants to wrap them up in warmth and keep them in his embrace for the rest of his life; but his owner (master) looks down upon these feelings. Thinks that they make him weak, pathetic... Stupid. The only thing that makes him (his master) any of those things, is letting them (the pretenders) get away with the things that they've done.

_._

_...I'm a victim..._

_._

He can hear their (the pretenders) voices echoing off his prisons walls, and the things they say make him snarl and shake with rage. "...Fucking fag..." "...Whiney little bitch..." "...No wonder no one wants you..." "...I'm so tired of your shit..." The last one makes him (the monster) laugh. He's tired of their shit as well. ...He can feel his owner's (master's) weariness match his own.

.

_…I'm just caught up in all the cattle…_

.

His owner (master) is scared of him. He can feel it, the fear, and he just doesn't understand. Why are humans so scared of what is different? Is he really so hideous that he must be hidden away, in a cage (prison) like some feral animal?

.

_…I was a creature before I could stand…_

.

"…They called me a…"

"…hit me…"

"…Don't know what to do…"

"…Advice…?"

The things that he (the monster) hear in his cage (prison) make him bristle and vibrate with rage. His precious people are being hurt! Crying tears of anguish and betrayal, and he can do nothing but sit back and watch. It is this knowledge that sends him pacing anxiously back and forth in his cage (prison), scoring deep claw marks in the floor as he listens to his owner (master) comfort them, calm them. He wants to pull them close, to pet their heads and wrap them up and let them know that he's _here_ , that he's here and he wants them and he'll _protect_ them-

His words go unspoken.

.

_…I will remember before I forget, before I forget that…_

_._

He (the monster) really isn't that cruel. He loves just the same as any human and isn't fully consumed by emotions such as hate and rage. He's just more… selective in the people that he loves. Only those who earn and deserve his affection are given it. They (the pretenders) who seek his owner's (master's) love but do nothing but harm in return, are who he fights to destroy. He doesn't like it when his owner (master) cries over them, and he _hates_ it when he can do nothing but watch as another jagged scar is carved into the walls of his cage (prison). So yes, he snarls and claws and _rages_ for vengeance, but he thinks that they (monster and master) deserve it; revenge that is.

(Besides, they (the pretenders) will eventually hurt his precious people as well. So he's decided that no matter what, he'll destroy them before they get the chance. He doesn't care if he has to become a monster to do it.)


End file.
